Congratulations!
I know sometimes I'm a little hard on my co-workers, but really it's cause I love them and want to see them do well. Which is why I'm so happy to announce that FatAss Rebecca is on the Jared Subway diet and has lost a whopping 137 lbs, and now weighs in at a svelte 205lbs.
Congrats fatty, you'll always be number 2 in our hearts.
Mel is Trashy
Someone needs to have a talk with Mel.
This is not appropriate attire for work.
The Tease
Jesus Christ, could her hair be any bigger? Heather must have spent two hours and three cans of Aquanet to get her hair to stand up like that. I wish I could say it was for some special occasion, Halloween maybe, but no that's how it is everyday.
Have you ever seen "Mars Attacks!"? Remember when the alien dresses up as a blond bombshell to sneak into the White House?
Yea, it's like that. That sort of "I'm-hiding-all-sorts-of-shit-up-in-my-hair" big. Like that Harlem Globetrotter that used pull junk out of his afro whenever they would guest star in an episode of Scooby-Doo.
And of course, she's MY boss. What else can I do? "Wow, Heather you look great today. Did you do something different with your hair today?" (Like use super-glue to stand it up like that). Usually I just say something like, "Those are really nice shoes." That way I have an excuse to look down and that i don't have to make eye-contact, or worse, have my brain sucked up into that rat's nest on top of her head.
Heather announcing the start of the Roto-Matchmove Priority Meeting
+ / -
Lori's pregnant. You heard it here first.
Oh, sure she's denying it, but she spent all MORNING in the bathroom, SICK.
Drunken Vixen.
Today's hot little news bit comes to us about that sweet little Mel. Well maybe she's not so sweet, after consuming copious amounts of alcohol it seems the married Mel was spotted by several people not only dancing the lambada with a number or men, occasionally multiple men at the same time but in fact totally making out with a certain married man from Niles. The lascivious behavior continued until either their tongues got tired or perhaps she had to go vomit, early reports are mixed.
It just goes to show you, you never can tell who's a real party girl.
Word also has come out that Lori might be on an up-coming edition of "Girls Gone Wild" after matching Mel's alcohol consumption and then later running into a Channel 2 news crew at Top Dog.
She's So Disgusting
I just can't believe her, she's just so... so... disgusting. And fat too, you'd think with an ass like that she'd relize she needs to cut down on the intake, but no she just keeps shoveling it in.
Today I went to the rock gym for lunch and when i came back I grabbed my sack lunch from the kitchen, brown rice and a banana, and headed back to my desk. On the way I passed her. Well first it was the odor, somehow even the air was greasy, then I saw it. She was eating her own home-made legendary Luthor Burger. She must have gone shopping at lunch cause there she was, her fat little face beaming as she crammed down her chow. Her chubby little fingers trying to hold onto a half-pound Fat Burger with Bacon, extra cheese, and all the fixins' sandwiched between two glazed donuts. Oh, and if that wasn't bad enough, chili fries. Seriously honey, slow down and I'll get you a child or something for dessert.
A little glob of ketchup hung from her shiney oil-soaked skin as she smiled and through a mouth full of burger gleefully said, "Hi Brian. Mmmmm.... Fat Kreme."
I nearly puked in the wastebasket, but was afraid that might upset her delicate balance and only God knows what she'd hack up. It would be like when they gut a shark and find old license plates and boots and half a bicycle.
Rebecca is just so disgustingly fat.
Guess who's a drunk?
Have you heard that Shannon is totally a drunk? It's so sad. The other day Blaise was out to open the big front door at 9am like he does every morning but after he opened up he had to go over and give Shannon a little kick to wake her. She'd passed out in the gutter the night before. She got all up, a quarter of a bottle of ripple tucked into her jacket, her hair a mess, then she just went in and ran dailies like nothing was going on.
Just sad.
